Lullaby Fanfiction 02 - First Verse of The Lullaby (+18)

So now I'm done with the second chapter to my Lullaby series. Finally! For you who don't know he is my super gay and evil tabletop role-playing character from Black Crusade (Warhammer 40k) and I have played him for about a year now. The world is set in the 41st millennium.

This is the first adventure I played with him ever, and he tells it from his own point of view. He's pretty full of himself and I hope that shows in his choice of words.


Story: Lullaby feels bored on the planet where he was left and jumps from a guy's bed into the next to have somewhere to sleep during the nights. Then one day a lunatic suddenly runs in to the bar where Lullaby sits and listens to rumors and shouts out coordinates to a treasure. The bar is quickly emptied with all the pirates and Lullaby is left alone with three other people, whom he allies himself with to go on a treasure hunt. But nothing goes like he expects...


This is a direct continuation from the previous chapter "The Origin of A Lullaby", but it is okay to continue from here too. The previous chapter is about his childhood and how he became the person he is.

Picture by me.

So my eighteenth birthday went by on the planet where I had been brought to by a heretic after my little fire show on a war world. A few days after my birthday I found myself sleeping soundly in a comfortable bed. The mornings were always nice at the mansion where I had found shelter on the planet filled with heretics. It wasn’t exactly like I had a home of my own on that planet. I was rather jumping from one guy’s bed into the next and slept over at many places. When I had been taken there by the leader from the war where I had turned against my own he had hooked me up with a guy who showed me around, but then I was left on my own. I didn’t have money and I didn’t want to sell my weapons, so I ended up seducing men to have somewhere to sleep and hoped that they would treat me for a dinner. It was a shock to go from luxury at the old man’s place to being poor, but that was my reality.

The mansion was my absolute favorite place and I always slept there if I got the chance. The man – who’s name I won’t tell – was a torpedo for hire and he was filthy rich and very handsome. He lived in a luxurious mansion heavily guarded to prevent the thieves and burglars getting in, and he was pretty paranoid at times. But I had gotten myself under his skin and he welcomed me with open arms. Of course he wanted sex, and so I gave him that in exchange for a place to sleep and to get some fine meals in my stomach.

Lullaby Fanfiction 01 - The Origin Of A Lullaby (18+)

So here's the first real instalment in my series about my bad guy Lullaby from the roleplaying game Black Crusade/Warhammer 40k. As I said in an update before I decided to write down all his adventures, and because he's gay and very sexual I thought that maybe they fit here. I have also tried out a new style of writing so you could say this is a experiment.

What do you think happens when an insane person who only knows hate is given a weapon and is taught to kill the ones he hates?

The world is set in the 41st millennium where humans live scattered around the universe in a so called Empire where a special emperor keeps the humanity alive with his own life power. Because The Emperor has grown so weak the human realm has started to fall apart. The humans live a very strict life and has to constantly fight for survival against different types of creatures and demons who lives in the universe, and also many times against them selves. The human world is very corrupted and here and there heretics are born from ordinary people who gets seduced by one of the four dark chaos gods and lives the life of evil and death. The heretics are constantly chased and the more infamous the heretic gets the more the Empire turns their eyes on him/her.

This is the story of my heretic Lullaby who is very self-confident but also very hurt and broken as a human. He's totally insane and knows nothing of what is right and wrong. Even if he's very innocent at heart in a way he's also very dangerous and corrupted, and the more the time went the more infamous he got. In the end the super little gay boy who could charm the pants off of a grown man became so known in universe he became a legend.

Do you dare to get to know him?



Me about Lullaby: He stands for a lot of stuff I won't support. He was created to be as far away from me as a person as possible, and in the beginning I felt pretty angry at him for being so "stupid". But the more I played him the more I began to love him, and now he's my baby and favorite character even if he's a horrible person in so many ways. In the end I also feel a lot in common with him. I guess some parts of him was created from my subconscious and at times I can really relate myself to him. I also love to play the evil guys in games, and I always root for the bad guys in movies and anime so he was really REALLY entertaining to play! But because he was so complex even though he was very simple minded as a character I had a very hard time playing him. My brain was always turned into a goo. LOL! He needs a lot of my brain capacity and an enormous amount of energy to be played. Now he's removed from play though because he became so powerful that the Game Master didn't want to allow him as an active character. Lullaby's more or less an NPC (non playable character) now. I miss  him so much...  (T_T)


Warning!

This story is very dark. I have to warn sensitive people from reading it. His background is very horrible and I myself had a very hard time writing it. It contains a lot of provocative subjects.

Picture of Lullaby as demon god made by me. Before when he was a human he didn't have the tail, horns and purple skin. His helmet wasn't cracked either. Picture took 26 hours to make from scratch.

When I look at people I feel disgusted. They are stupid and predictable, boring and untrustworthy. The world of humans is a dark and gloomy place, and I have been cursed by once being forced to live in that fucked up world as one of these humans. Why do I hate humans? Because the humankind didn’t give a shit about me and gave me nothing but hell.

I still ask – I don’t know who – what I did to deserve the hurt and deceit I got from both my family and the old man. I still ask – I don’t know who – why no one came when I cried for help during all these seventeen years filled with neglect and abuse. You see – I have no one to ask, and I didn’t have anyone to cry for. I have never had a name to call out for when I’m in need and even if I had I was already too broken to call for them. The ones I should have been able to call out and reach for were the ones who were guilty for making my life as it was. Every day as a young boy I asked myself “Is this what my life is for, to waste in a world full of these bad people?”

Six years. That’s all I have lived this far. It was right after my seventeenth birthday that I got free from all the pain. Before that I wasn’t alive. Six years ago I got the courage to grip the handle of freedom. Before that I was a doll filled with chaotic emotions and bending to all the demands of other people. When I got older I wanted to rise up and look my demons in the eyes to tell them to piss off, but no matter how hard I tried they had a grip on me that was tight enough to almost suffocate the life out of me. My little will to stand straight crackled under the heaviness of other people’s greed and desires. I had learned from my childhood that tears and begging didn’t help, so I just did as told. Just cope with the pain. That was my first lesson in life.

Fanfic: Brutal Love (Lullaby) 18+

So here I have another Lullaby-fanfiction. I decided to upload it here because it is kind of BL. It takes place on a huge space ship in the 41st millennium.


Can insane people really fall in love? Maybe they can, but they certainly expresses their feelings in a different way than normal people. The story is about my insane badguy Lullaby (Black Crusade/Warhammer 40k) falling in love and wanting to express to that special person exactly how much he really loves him.

I want to warn sensitive people from reading this. Even though Lullaby mostly seems innocent like an angel he is brutal and shows no mercy to anyone. In this story Lullaby makes himself into a good (bad?) example of how an insane person shows his love.

(I found my inspiration to this story from the music of Marilyn Manson and a quote from someone unknown I found on internet - which I don't remember anymore. LOL!)

Picture by me. It took me 9 hours to complete this. (>_>)

He stood there staring at the man in front of him. He was so beautiful, so attractive and handsome. Lullaby felt his heart flutter like it had never done before. A heat flushed through his body, but it wasn’t the typical heat he normally felt when he was attracted to someone. It was a heat that made him blush and his mind went haywire with pleasant feelings. He felt shy. That really surprised him and he didn’t understand really what was going on. He wanted the man, but not just sexually.

I’m never shy. Why now?, he thought and felt a pleasant shiver run down his spine as the man threw a glance at him. I want him.

100 000 dollars

Phew! Here is a very long one, and I'm so sorry if it's too long for you!

It's a story about a kid named Jace. He has been through a fucked up life ever since his parents committed suicide, and he was adopted by a gang leader to have him pay back his father’s debt by prostitution and porn acting. Jace’s life is filled with danger and he lives one day at a time wondering when it’ll be his last. He’s only 19 years old, but won’t be released from the mafias grip until he’s about 30 years old. But he knows that he won’t live to see his 25^th birthday if he has to continue like he does. He’s a drug addict and is mentally unstable. (Who wouldn’t be?)

But one night a stranger comes up to him and offers him 100 000 dollars for each day he spends with him. That stranger turns out to be Brian Fall, one of the biggest actors in the whole world! Jace accepts the offer and moves temporary in with Brian. But he gets frustrated when Brian won’t go to bed with him. He has no idea why Brian wants to pay 100 000 dollars per day if he doesn’t want to go to bed with him. Instead Brian confuses poor Jace even more by treating him nice, and soon Jace’s feelings makes him scared and panicked.

It’s a very sad story (I like sad stories…) and kind of disgusting too at some points. I don’t really know what I thought when I came up with this story because it was such a long time ago when I began writing it. I recently decided to pick it up again and continue writing it, and here it is! But I do know that the story was suposed to be about taking chances in your life. In this case taking the chance for love before someone else takes that love away from you.

A porn actor meets a famous world renowned actor. Oh my! LOL!

So if you’re bored someday, then here you have something to read!

Enjoy!

”Yeah! Just like that! Spread them a little more. Like that! Hold the pose!”

The endless flashing blinding him kept on going like it would never stop. The cool air made his bare skin feel cold, and the spotlights from the ceiling confused this cool air with hot rays. Jace sat there with his legs spread wide while the photographer snapped pictures.

“That’s good! Now change your posture,” the photographer said, and Jace obeyed. “The men who’ll buy the magazines are going to drool like they’ve gone to heaven.”

Jace laughed an arrogant laugh – very characteristic to his character.

“I bet they will. What man has ever turned me down?” he asked with that self-confident smile.

“That’s true. You’re not the biggest gay porn star for nothing,” the photographer chuckled and gave a special blink with his eye to Jace.

Does that prick really think I’ll stoop so low as to offer him my service?, Jace thought disgusted as he watched the almost bald photographer continue taking photos.

After the photo shoot for the men’s magazine was over Jace showered and put his clothes on. He wore black and tight jeans, black tank top of punkish style, and a black leather jacket – all from a famous and expensive brand. He had a silver necklace with a skull, some black leather bracelets around his wrists, and silver rings on his thin fingers. His hair was also jet black, but his skin was almost as white as snow. His dark clothing and hair made a strong but beautiful contrast to his fair skin.

“Are you headed out for the clubs?” a man named Marco asked as Jace hurried passed a corner when he was headed to the front door.

Jace stopped in his tracks and stood still for a moment.

“You’re here to check on me? You want the money?” he asked, and Marco laughed like the mafia employee he was.

“You know the rules. Tony wants his money you owe him.”

Jace turned around and stared at Marco like he was shooting daggers from his eyes.

“Correction: The money my father owes him,” he said with an angry tone.

“You’re right. But now your father’s gone, and he used you and your mother as collateral. So what do you expect us to do? Your parents are dead so you’re the last one who we’ll get the money from. And you know what happens to you if you don’t pay up, right?”

Jace felt how a shiver went down his spine. He knew all too well.

“I haven’t done much work outside the studio these last few days. But take what I have. And tell Tony he’ll get the last sum from my photo shoot by tomorrow. I’ll get my payment by then,” Jace said and pulled out his wallet. He took 300 dollars from his wallet and gave them to Marco.

“You’re a good boy. But don’t slack off. You’re just 19 years old. It would be a shame if you wouldn’t get to see at least your 30^th birthday.”

“Why 30?” Jace asked, and Marco laughed.

“Because it’s by then you’ll be free from Tony,” he answered and smiled at Jace. “Well, I have to get going.”

Jace heard the door shut behind him after Marco had left the building. He stood there and stared at the floor for a while.

Eleven more years and then I’ll be free?, he asked himself. Then he sighed and kicked the door open and went out into the chilly winter night and caught a taxi. If it continues like this I may not live to even be 25.

The taxi stopped outside the popular nightclub that his boss (and owner) Tony owned. Tony was a mafia leader, and he had built a big empire of casinos, bars, night clubs and restaurants all over the city.

Jace got in for free because he wasn’t there do dance or drink. He was there to work, but it wasn’t that kind of work the other employees did. As soon as he stepped into the club he immediately caught his eyes on a middle-aged man at the bar. Jace hurried over to the bar, sat down next to the man and ordered a drink. Then he put on his boyish charm and gave the lonely man a smile.

“Why is a hot guy like you sitting here at the bar alone?” he asked. Not that the man was any hotter than the bearded lady at a circus, but money always had the same green color no matter whose wallet it came from.

The man looked at him with surprise and then took a sip from his glass.

“Hot? Me?” he asked awkwardly, and Jace chuckled and smiled his irresistible flirty smile.

“Of course you are! Would I be talking to you if you weren’t?” he asked, and the man took another sip. He was clearly nervous.

“I didn’t realize it was a bar for men that … swing the other way,” he stammered, and Jace laughed again.

“It isn’t. It’s probably just me here who cruises for men here,” he answered. “So, you’re interested in other men?”

The other man stared at Jace for a while, and then he seemed to realize something.

“Excuse me, but are you perhaps Jace Evans, the AV-actor?” he asked surprised, and Jace nodded with his arrogant smile on his lips.

“So you have heard of me? Well, I’m not surprised. A lot of men at your age know my name.”

The older man stared dumbfounded at Jace, like he was looking at a god.

“You have no idea how surprised I am about meeting you here!” the man then exclaimed, and Jace moved closer and whispered right next to the man’s ear:

“Do you want me to put on a private show for you? I’ll service you exactly the way you want. I’m not that cheap, but I promise it’ll be worth it.”

In The Cage of Etenity

Hello again! Here's todays treat! it's a long story this time that I've been working on for three days. I'm very slow att writing in english, so it has been a long three days for me to complete this story.

This story is probably the darkest one I've ever written. It has no comedy in it, and no love either. It's kind of a sick story with psychological theme. I dreamt of this story (as usual) a few nights ago and wrote it down.

It's about a male model who ends up kidnapped by a psycopath, and becomes haunted by the past. Sounds nice, doesn't it? xD

I hope you enjoy it anyway. You can't have these lovy-dovy stories all the time, right? I'm sorry if any of you feel offended reading it. But it's just a story - remember it. Okay?

Thank you people on my forum (Japan.ifokus.se) who helped me with coming up names to the villain in this story!

(Jeez! I have to dream about some fun stuff next time to compensate the darkness in this story. I feel kind of down after writing this.)

In The Cage of Etenity

“Welcome. Please take a seat”, she said, and Ayase Shuu obeyed and sat down on the leather sofa. “How have you been this last week?” she then asked, and Shuu sighed and looked down at the silver locket in his hand. He always had the locket on him.

“As usual”, he answered quietly.

“You still have those nightmares?” the psychologist asked, but Shuu didn’t really listen and opened the locket and looked at the handsome man in the photo looking back at him with jet-black eyes. The psychologist knew what he was looking at. “Do you still wear that wherever you go?”

Shuu sighed again and closed the locket. He then looked at her hazelnut colored eyes and slowly shook his head.

“I can’t seem to throw it away”, he said sadly and took a tighter grip around the locket which hung around his neck on a long and thin silver chain.

“Wouldn’t it be better to just throw it away? The one in the photo is the reason you’re in this state, is it not?”

“Maybe… But I still can’t do it. I hate him so much for doing all that shit to me, but still I can’t throw it away. I don’t understand it myself.”

“How long has it been? Five or six months now?” she then asked, and Shuu shrugged his shoulders.

“I have no idea. I don’t keep track of the time. I’m too tired. The press is still all over me and I can’t live at my place anymore because of it. They keep bothering me with all these stupid shit questions about what happened. I’m really sick of it.” Shuu looked more tired than ever. He had heavy dark circles under his eyes and his hair wasn’t really taken care off. He also wore baggy clothes in dark colors, and he was thinner than ever before.

The meeting with his psychologist went as usual: They talked about his feelings, thoughts and nightmares, and she tried to help him as good as she could. At the end of the session she wrote a prescription for his medicines. On his way out of the building he stopped at the drugstore close to the entrance and got his antidepressant medicine. Then he took a taxi home to his manager who lived not too far away from the clinic.

When he got “home” he threw himself on the bed in the guestroom and sighed. His only friend and manager were still out working.

Maybe I should get some sleep?, he thought and closed his eyes. Before he knew it he fell asleep.

Ayase Shuu was a 21 year old male model. His golden brown eyes had usually an outstanding charisma and his hair was toned in a dark brown color with blonde highlights. He was an ordinary guy who quickly gained a successful career as a model after he was discovered by the agency when he was still working as a host. His looks and presence in front of the camera gave him a huge fan base and now he was one of the number one models in Japan.

But six months ago he was put through some hardship that turned his life upside down.

It was an ordinary summery Saturday morning at his apartment in Shinjuku. But the peace was disrupted when he suddenly had gotten a call from the police and called to a hearing at the station. When he arrived he learned the cold truth about the girls he had hooked up with for one-night stands during the last two months: They had all been brutally killed. The police was first accusing him for the deeds, but because they didn’t have any leads or evidence they had to let him go.

That night Shuu had been sitting at his apartment white as a ghost. All he could think of was the girls who had lost their lives. And for what? For having had sex with him? But why? Who could have done something that terrible?

On Monday morning he was escorted to his job by bodyguards hired by the agency, and they were with him whenever he needed to go somewhere. He knew he had to be protected. Being famous was like a double edged sword. While you could earn a big amount of money and live a carefree life, it could also attract dangerous people. But Shuu couldn’t take the constant surveillance and made one stupid move that he would end up regretting for the rest of his life.